Sometimes you have to remind yourself...

Beautiful skeleton with wings.

Skeleton.

Guitar.

Joey and Phoebe.

Marina.

I wonder what I look like to you.

I cannot make you understand. I cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me. I cannot even explain it to myself.

Topbun.

Overthinking.

Perfect the way you are.

This is how I feel.

Drink coffee, read books, be happy.

Books.

London

Sorry I haven't been on for ages, I was away in London this weekend with the 'rents visiting my sister. Was a really cute wekend, we went to a Christmas market last night and it was soooo cool, then today we went to a flower market and went via Brick Lane which is amazing! Anyway, I will give updates tomorrow, but right now I need my bed!

Aqua hair.

Sometimes.

Joy Division.

Vogue.

Cat on top.

BOYFRIEND

I have a BOYFRIEND, I mean me, Eve has a boyfriend. This is bloody crazy! He is so cute and lovely, how the hell have I got him, like seriously, i'm so shocked, I didn't expect this at all. How can someone like him like someone like me?! This is like a dream. It doesn't feel real at all. I don't understand how I have managed this. I mean he's sooooooooo lovely, why did he pick me, I mean me? He has made me a very happy girly <3

Beanie and Jefferey Campbells.

Emma Watson, on something she hopes people take from seeing the Perks of Being a Wallflower

I just think the world would be a better place if there were more people like Charlie, who is so compassionate and empathetic and non-judgemental and accepting. Everyone has a story, and people tend to judge and interpret behaviour without going to the source of that behaviour. They say that every saint has a past and every sinner has a future, and it’s so true. I don’t know, people can change and people make mistakes and people are human, and you kind of need to love them for that. I hope that people take that away, finding a way to love their imperfections and love themselves. Really you can’t truly accept other people until you accept yourself, and you can’t really accept yourself until you accept other people. It kind of all goes weirdly hand in hand. And when you show kindness and compassion for yourself, then you’re able to extend it. It’s all inextricably linked. So I think it would be that.

Skull teabag.

Cat shoes.

I want to ride my bicycle I want to ride my bike.

By the way, just to be clear, the photos that I put on my blog are all from tumblr if I haven't specified they are  mine.

James Arthur and Ella are bloody amazing! I can't explain it when I listen to them. No words can describe them. Bloddy hell!

'We all have 2 sides'

Shoes.

Tattoos galore.

Skeleton hands.

Stuck.

60476) I'm trapped between my eating disorder and recovery. I'm trying to recover, but there is a part of me that refuses to let my eating disorder go. I feel empty without it.

Skull tights.

Pink lips.

Fiery hair.

Words can't describe how much I love my sister.

Skeleton.

Best quote from 'A Cinderella Story'

Aztec bag.

Rollercoaster of a day.

I have had a rollercoaster of a day today. I got weighed and had lost again, but the thing is, I don't understand how?! I have been eating the same amount, if not, more! It has really frustrated me as now I have to get serious again and think what else I can eat in order to GAIN weight as i'm below target and need to get back up there! I know it's going to be hard though :(...but i'm going to do it, i'm determined!
My best friend was amazing, i had a cry with her and stuff and she is going to do it with me(well not gain weight, just eat similar foods to me, try new snacks with me etc) and that made me cry even more as she is bloody amazing! I wouldn't be able to do any of this without her! She promises she will be sterner with me to help me eat enough and give me a kick up the backside when I need, and although I don't want that, I know it will be helpful. We decided that there was no time like the present to start with a new snack, so after break we went to tesco's together where we were picking sweets...yes sweets! It took me quite a while to choose so I felt bad for Jessy, but I went through with it and bought some Mascot Winegummy thingyssss! Jessy got cola bottles and 2 packs of maltesers and she opened them on the walk back, so I thought if I don't open them now, then i'll back out. I opened them and ate them all. It was 145 calories, but it was in sweets and I ate sweets! It felt sooooo weird, such a mixture of feelings. The main feeling was that of normality, I mean I actually felt NORMAL for the first time in a very long time! However, once I had finished, those screaming and shitty feelings came to me and I felt very emotional, but Jess was amazing. I did it. I actually took the plunge and ate them and I wouldn't have been able to do it without Jess, thank god I have her! Dad, mum and Polly were happy when I told them...it feels good to make them happy!
Straight after that my mind moved onto something else as I saw Nick, gave him a hug, talked for like a couple of minutes, then he kissed me goodbye, in public! What does that mean?! Ahhhhh! During the day we kissed in public 3 times, that is crazy! Is it too quick? Is it good? I felt butterflies in my tummy! He's better at simple kissing as no offence Nick, but you were a little shitty when I got with you yesterday...don't worry it will all come with time :P Things are obviously moving forward, yayyyyy, but i'm so scared at the same time, like soooooo scared! I have been trying to pick at little things that will allow me to back out, but I know i'm only doing it because i'm scared, so i'm going to carry on and see where it goes :)
Now I am having to think of ways to increase my diet in order to gain weight, so this is stressful, but I need to do it, and I have therapy tomorrow morning and need to tell mum and dad what i'm increasing.
Blimey i'm going to sleep well tonight!

Black outfit.

Cool nails.

Nervous!

So i'm off to nick's house tomorrow and i'm soooo nervous! I don't know what to expect and just ahhhh so scared! I'll be meeting his parents, what does that mean?! Will they like me?! I don't know how I feel about it.

You never got to heaven but you got real close.

Joshy.

Harry Potter.

Tats and hats.

Pink creepers.

Smiley Miley.

Amazing.

Ok, so today I had to make the decision to tell Nick that I have eating issues as he has invited me to his house on wednesday for tea. I was preparing myself for him to run a mile and not want anything to do with me, but he didn't. I nearly cried when he was talking to me about it. He said I didn't deserve to have an eating problem and that he has so much respect for me and that he's proud of me. I couldn't actually believe it; I was gobsmacked. He is amazing and I just hope it goes somewhere, I really like him! I can't believe how accepting he was of it; is something good going to actually happen in my life now?

The Way I See It #83.

It's always darkest before the dawn.

Kiss me like you wanna be loved.

Up in flames.

Fuck off.

Denim biker jacket and pink hair.

Don't hold your breath i'm not losing sleep over you.

Gingham, camera and tattoos.

Colour tattoos.

Beautiful Disaster.