Shit.

So, today has been the shittest day I have had for ages, and this is my results day where I should be celebrating my exam results...but no.
I feel so shit, everything is just falling apart. As soon as things start to go right, something comes along to mess up everything again. Polly and dad had a huge talk last night, I wasn't down there to listen, but Polly is so upset, she feels like shit and just doesn't want to be around the family right now. That made me feel shit today as she was going to be at home to celebrate my discharge and exam results, but no, she doesn't want to be at home so has gone to sta at someone's house. Dad has said some really awful things to her, and she doesn't deserve it, she needs our support at the moment more than anything, ok, we don't have to support the relationship, but she's his daughter, we need to support her emotionally. It's awful, but I am so cross with her for getting into this situation, why the hell has she done it? Well I know why, it was because she wants to feel loved, and who wouldn't after all the shit she's been through, so I understand that, but can she not see this is tearing us all apart. Mum is in bits, dad is so cross and can't come to terms with it, and me, well I don't matter in all of this anyway...but i'm falling apart inside. Our family are so fucked up, and I just don't know why. Why can't something be simple for once?
So instead of celebrating my results and having a happy day, i've been in tears along with mum, and had an argument with dad whilst we were eating tea, therefore causing me to not eat tea dad got even more cross with me. I went to calm down and went back for my tea later as I know that not earting it will make all this worse, but still, I don't feel like eating at all at the moment, and that's shit when i've only just been discharged. I am forcing myself to have everything though as otherwise I will just prove everyone right that I can't do this.
However shit I feel, I will not be defeated.