Today has been a pretty shitty day really, not going to lie! I lost weight when i was weighed yesterday, and now the staff are staring to worry that i won't be able to maintain when i get out of there and that i'll bee in another place within a couple of months.
I just feel like no one has any faith in me. Yes, i lost quite a bit of weight on one leave, but i am trying to sort out a lot of stuff, trying to balance things out so that i can cope and maintain my weight, it's all trial and error at the oment. They are expecting so much from me. I am working so hard on eradication purging, but that comes with consequences of restricting, but i will work on that once my purging has fully stopped. I can only do one thing at a time...i'm not bloody superwoman!
They over-react so much though which really annoys me. I understand why they're worried, but seriously, i have responsibility of EVERYTHING now basically (apart from tea) and that's a lot to deal with, but i want the responsibility, it will allow me to be more free and in control. If they are going to give me the control, then bloody give me it, don't interferre, i have to do this by myself and prove i can do it by myself, yes i'll make mistakes, but that's part of growing up anyway! I am trying my fucking hardest here, so let me get on with it, please.
I would find things easier if people had more faith in me. If people believed in me, then i may believe in me more and i may be able to deal with it better. I am doing something about it. I am adding more into my daily diet which is really hard, but i am doing it, so please, just support me, don't interferre and put me down so much, that's all i ask.
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